Discussing the undiscussable

Yeah, I know… Gramatically “undiscussable” is incorrect.  Just couldn’t come up with the right term for it.  Plus it just sounds exactly what it is supposed to mean.  For all I know, it will find its way into the dictionary in a few years from now.

I have toiled with the concept of death for a while. Hailing from the east, I have read and pretended to comprehend the concept of body and soul – body dies, soul is eternal.  Conceptually this sounded fine, but I just couldn’t come to terms when some unexpected passing happened within the family.  It got me thinking a few years ago when I listened to a living eulogy on the radio.  The concept fascinated me.  This is no living eulogy.  But, this thought process began from that moment.  This blog has more to do with genuine affection for people that will live to see my death.  You may not remember me for long, however, when you do remember me, this is what I would like you to remember of me.  (It is also my way of saying, here is a list of things to do and not do, in order not to be haunted by me :D)

Flowers : If you have known me long enough, you will know that I believe flowers are meant to embellish the plant/shrub, not die decorating the corners of a funeral home.  Please do not bring  flowers, for there will be no viewing.  Should my family want, they will have a memorial service and you are welcome to come by and offer words of comfort.

Education : The money you would put towards a bouquet of flowers could go towards education projects either in your own neighbourhood or in a neighbourhood that needs the money.  Support education.  Education empowers children.  Children are the future of this world and that is the best thing you can do in my memory. Donate wisely – not to some large organization.  If you have known me I believe in supporting people at grassroot level.  Every penny you donate needs to count.  That will only happen if you reach people directly, not through an organization. You will also see the impact you make on them and that joy will multiply in your own lives.

Colours : If you do choose to come for my memorial service, please dress in vibrant colours of yellow, pink, red, burgundy, blue, purple and the like.  Do not dress in black and white.  My memorial service has to be one where you remember me joyfully and the times we have giggled and been up to nonsense. Black and white are serious colours.  They don’t go with me or our memory together.

Dance party : As you walk into the memorial service, you are likely to meet some familiar faces.  Please organize a bollywood themed dance party or a zumba party on my name and dance it off. Dance off the grief.  The first person to host the event with the loudest music ever, will be least haunted by me.  😀

Random act of kindness : If you cannot make it to the memorial service, because you have got a life, and the fact is everyone does, don’t feel bad about it.  However close we have been, your life is the most important thing at any point in time.  Just think of me and perform a random act of kindness.  You would be honouring my life much more by such acts, than having to cancel something important to show up at my memorial service.

Last, but not the least, Food : People, food! Really good food!!  Go eat at a favourite restaurant of yours or order take out from a really good joint.  Put your feet up, watch Netflix and eat away guilt free, while you reminisce.  Bring food to the people that have outlived me and make sure its spicy and fresh and home-cooked.

And for all those of you that are wondering why I am writing this now, the answer is – no apparent reason.  I am hale and healthy and happy and rambunctious and crazy as ever. All of the above, I shall be doing for myself while I am still living. I have no intentions of leaving this body anytime soon by my own will.  You shall all have the pleasure of my pain for years to come.

 

God

A hyper sensitive topic in a politically correct environment.

Oh don’t you worry, this is no venue for me to profess my ideas of the mystical energy that surrounds us.  And ooops sorry if you landed this page by sheer accident, for if you are trying to find answers to your problems, this page isn’t the one.  This is aimed thoroughly at people that I have to deal with on a day-to-day basis just because I have made a choice to.  My facebook only has people that are personally known to me. And yet there are so many that have impacted my life beautifully and yet aren’t on facebook.  Having said that, the ones that are on my friends list are people with whom I have spent some memorable times. What I seem to have missed is how some of them have completely missed important lessons in life.

God needs us : It seems like a given that God needs social media today to make his presence known to the world.  Really? I find that fascinating.  People, wake up!!!  Which part of this story are you not getting? God had the best social media that mankind has ever seen.  How else has He / She permeated this earth for the thousands of years? You have got to believe He / She is more intelligent than using merely those on social media to permeate earth!

Healing through Amen : Did you actually believe a child or an animal will heal with your typing Amen?  Pause here for a minute and think and then read on please.  I urge you to use that part of the body that is not used very much by humans.  Yes, I am indeed referring to the brain.

Sharing God’s pictures brings luck : Really? Define luck.

Not sharing God’s images brings bad luck : Wow.

People, here is my two cents.  My keyboard bears the brunt of my wrath as I type this.

  • You want to help healing? Get off the couch. Go on the streets, find someone in need, offer words of solace, offer them shelter, offer them food, offer them water,  bring them to a safe place.  That is how you help healing.  That is how you define Amen.  That is the true meaning of that word.
  • You want luck ? How about you change the way you think?  How about you give before you ask?  How about you don’t associate luck with something magical that  happens only once in a lifetime?  How about you practice gratitude for just being alive, for a roof over your head, for food on your plate, for clean drinking water, for health, for family, for work, for money, for friends, for education ?
  • You don’t want bad luck ?  Then stop spreading fear amongst people. Stop agonizing over what might happen.  For the only way you can create joy and peace around you, is by embodying it and spreading it.
  • Work of God?  Be kind to everyone.  Help the ones you see in need.  Don’t complain about little things.  Have healthy thoughts. Perform random acts of kindness. Smile at nothing.  Appreciate nature.  You are indeed doing His / Her work by simply living well.  And please for God’s sake, stop making a mockery of yourself.

RUN

Photo courtesy – Google images.

Oh nothing but a humorous whining session!

I started out this post as for a different reason, however, my situation changed. It was more meant to run away from morons.  However, I figured the image or the title might attract some enthusiasts to perhaps take a peak at my insanity.  The title should actually read “Runs”.

Powerful.  Unstoppable.  Ruthless. Never ending.  You would think I am describing a book from the Newyork times bestsellers.  But no, thats how a recent virus attack on my stomach felt.  It was brutal.  I often find the only way to combat situations like these mentally are through some sense of humour, for humour is all there is.

North American bathrooms : When I first moved to North America, I awed at the size of bathrooms.  I even wondered why they would waste so much space and at how there was a dry area and a wet area (unlike in India).  Its only when I had the runs, I realized how the dry North American bathrooms are designed to double up as make-shift bedrooms as well.  My bathroom can well accommodate a single floor mattress for easy access to the toilet.  I even envisioned a nook to put my reading light on because given that I was going to get no sleep, yet horizontal is the only other position of comfort for the few minutes between the runs, I could have read about two lines at a time at least!

The inner creator : In times of crisis is when I believe the inner creator awakens.  Since the idea of mattress on the bathroom floor didn’t seem like a hygienic option, I figured I could design “Reclining toilets for the runs”.  The seat would have a lever on one side (you may buy one that suits your preference – lever on the left or right).  After the attack, you can pull the lever and it will recline to almost horizontal position. Thus saving you time to go back to bed.  The upper end model comes with a tv option on one side and a hand washing sink on the other. This option is also very good during spousal fights.

Physics : Never in my life ever would I have thought that about the speed at which I could travel to the washroom from my bed or about the time taken between pants down to sitting on the toilet or the strength and endurance needed to walk back to the bed, until the next run again.  The inner physicist in me is awake and is working on the numbers.  For the first time ever, I feel a bit like Einstein.

Disinfecting : Who would have thought I would look at every surface like plague that I would decide that it was time to use my “Get-my-spouse-to-disinfect-all surfaces – at – 3 am” card.  Oh boy, that was one grumpy spouse!

Food : As a person that lives to eat, I despised every smell, every picture and swore at every facebook post that even remotely was associated with food.  As I flipped through the tv channels to kill time, I even threw profanities at the channel guide that seemed to show “food network” as every second channel!

Yet in the end, I emerge a winner.  A winner and a smiler, for the ordeal is over and food awaits and life invites.