Yeah, I know… Gramatically “undiscussable” is incorrect. Just couldn’t come up with the right term for it. Plus it just sounds exactly what it is supposed to mean. For all I know, it will find its way into the dictionary in a few years from now.
I have toiled with the concept of death for a while. Hailing from the east, I have read and pretended to comprehend the concept of body and soul – body dies, soul is eternal. Conceptually this sounded fine, but I just couldn’t come to terms when some unexpected passing happened within the family. It got me thinking a few years ago when I listened to a living eulogy on the radio. The concept fascinated me. This is no living eulogy. But, this thought process began from that moment. This blog has more to do with genuine affection for people that will live to see my death. You may not remember me for long, however, when you do remember me, this is what I would like you to remember of me. (It is also my way of saying, here is a list of things to do and not do, in order not to be haunted by me :D)
Flowers : If you have known me long enough, you will know that I believe flowers are meant to embellish the plant/shrub, not die decorating the corners of a funeral home. Please do not bring flowers, for there will be no viewing. Should my family want, they will have a memorial service and you are welcome to come by and offer words of comfort.
Education : The money you would put towards a bouquet of flowers could go towards education projects either in your own neighbourhood or in a neighbourhood that needs the money. Support education. Education empowers children. Children are the future of this world and that is the best thing you can do in my memory. Donate wisely – not to some large organization. If you have known me I believe in supporting people at grassroot level. Every penny you donate needs to count. That will only happen if you reach people directly, not through an organization. You will also see the impact you make on them and that joy will multiply in your own lives.
Colours : If you do choose to come for my memorial service, please dress in vibrant colours of yellow, pink, red, burgundy, blue, purple and the like. Do not dress in black and white. My memorial service has to be one where you remember me joyfully and the times we have giggled and been up to nonsense. Black and white are serious colours. They don’t go with me or our memory together.
Dance party : As you walk into the memorial service, you are likely to meet some familiar faces. Please organize a bollywood themed dance party or a zumba party on my name and dance it off. Dance off the grief. The first person to host the event with the loudest music ever, will be least haunted by me. 😀
Random act of kindness : If you cannot make it to the memorial service, because you have got a life, and the fact is everyone does, don’t feel bad about it. However close we have been, your life is the most important thing at any point in time. Just think of me and perform a random act of kindness. You would be honouring my life much more by such acts, than having to cancel something important to show up at my memorial service.
Last, but not the least, Food : People, food! Really good food!! Go eat at a favourite restaurant of yours or order take out from a really good joint. Put your feet up, watch Netflix and eat away guilt free, while you reminisce. Bring food to the people that have outlived me and make sure its spicy and fresh and home-cooked.
And for all those of you that are wondering why I am writing this now, the answer is – no apparent reason. I am hale and healthy and happy and rambunctious and crazy as ever. All of the above, I shall be doing for myself while I am still living. I have no intentions of leaving this body anytime soon by my own will. You shall all have the pleasure of my pain for years to come.