Discussing the undiscussable

Yeah, I know… Gramatically “undiscussable” is incorrect.  Just couldn’t come up with the right term for it.  Plus it just sounds exactly what it is supposed to mean.  For all I know, it will find its way into the dictionary in a few years from now.

I have toiled with the concept of death for a while. Hailing from the east, I have read and pretended to comprehend the concept of body and soul – body dies, soul is eternal.  Conceptually this sounded fine, but I just couldn’t come to terms when some unexpected passing happened within the family.  It got me thinking a few years ago when I listened to a living eulogy on the radio.  The concept fascinated me.  This is no living eulogy.  But, this thought process began from that moment.  This blog has more to do with genuine affection for people that will live to see my death.  You may not remember me for long, however, when you do remember me, this is what I would like you to remember of me.  (It is also my way of saying, here is a list of things to do and not do, in order not to be haunted by me :D)

Flowers : If you have known me long enough, you will know that I believe flowers are meant to embellish the plant/shrub, not die decorating the corners of a funeral home.  Please do not bring  flowers, for there will be no viewing.  Should my family want, they will have a memorial service and you are welcome to come by and offer words of comfort.

Education : The money you would put towards a bouquet of flowers could go towards education projects either in your own neighbourhood or in a neighbourhood that needs the money.  Support education.  Education empowers children.  Children are the future of this world and that is the best thing you can do in my memory. Donate wisely – not to some large organization.  If you have known me I believe in supporting people at grassroot level.  Every penny you donate needs to count.  That will only happen if you reach people directly, not through an organization. You will also see the impact you make on them and that joy will multiply in your own lives.

Colours : If you do choose to come for my memorial service, please dress in vibrant colours of yellow, pink, red, burgundy, blue, purple and the like.  Do not dress in black and white.  My memorial service has to be one where you remember me joyfully and the times we have giggled and been up to nonsense. Black and white are serious colours.  They don’t go with me or our memory together.

Dance party : As you walk into the memorial service, you are likely to meet some familiar faces.  Please organize a bollywood themed dance party or a zumba party on my name and dance it off. Dance off the grief.  The first person to host the event with the loudest music ever, will be least haunted by me.  😀

Random act of kindness : If you cannot make it to the memorial service, because you have got a life, and the fact is everyone does, don’t feel bad about it.  However close we have been, your life is the most important thing at any point in time.  Just think of me and perform a random act of kindness.  You would be honouring my life much more by such acts, than having to cancel something important to show up at my memorial service.

Last, but not the least, Food : People, food! Really good food!!  Go eat at a favourite restaurant of yours or order take out from a really good joint.  Put your feet up, watch Netflix and eat away guilt free, while you reminisce.  Bring food to the people that have outlived me and make sure its spicy and fresh and home-cooked.

And for all those of you that are wondering why I am writing this now, the answer is – no apparent reason.  I am hale and healthy and happy and rambunctious and crazy as ever. All of the above, I shall be doing for myself while I am still living. I have no intentions of leaving this body anytime soon by my own will.  You shall all have the pleasure of my pain for years to come.

 

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My conversations with God

Yeah. I know… Yet another one of those? Once again I am sorry if you have landed this page by sheer chance…. This is not a traditional God conversation that you are perhaps looking for. I had the immense fortune of meeting someone face-to-face a few days ago.  She is doing some incredible work with children.  She started 11 years ago and as she talked with much humility about her journey, I couldn’t help but see God in her.  I gave her a hug at the end of our discussion and told her what I felt.  She humbly said, “Aren’t we all doing just our part?”

Eastern philosophy is embedded in me.  But I find it so easy to get side tracked and get caught up in the disillusion of seeing God as someone on the outside.  This very meeting with this lady was a strong reminder of how God lives in each one of us.  It was a very profound moment for me and then I had an epiphany.  I realize how many conversations with God I have on a daily basis.  The regular people in lives – that say kind words, perform random acts of kindness, my mom who cooks everyday for all of us, my children that acknowledge beauty in everyday occurrences, people who make me laugh are all conversations with God.   In fact, it is important that I acknowledge that my very simple, uncomplicated life is in itself a conversation with God.  I define every moment not spent in sadness, agony or anxiety is a moment with God.  Every opportunity to experience joy is an opportunity with God.  Every moment spent in peace, is a moment spent with God.  Every positive thought is a thought of God.  Every moment of silence is oneness with God.

Ever since this thought flashed in my head, there are innumerable times in a day that I feel so connected to my core. I feel blessed not because some prayer was answered, but because my very existence is surrounded by beauty and thus God.