Inward journey, interesting results

A recent three day retreat of inward journey was exhilarating, joyful, calming and exhausting, all at once.  The physical body  rebelled at the 2:45 am wake up calls.  Monkey mind tortured the body, as the body chose to sit still.  There were intense moments of energy surges. A ton of pent up emotions flowed in the name of tears and energies were exchanged through hugs.  The room reverberated with deafening silence.  The sounds of sobs became a common occurrence in a room filled with almost 450 people.  After three days of listening to profoundly wonderful and transforming lectures, combined with long periods of sitting still, I emerged, a somewhat transformed human being (or so it seems). What surprised me was the inner chaotic voice settled and surprised my outer experience in my everyday world.  And I seem to be experiencing some interesting results.

The seeming disappearance (temporary ?) of the sock thief : In the physical world, I know for a fact that I have only two children, however, I am reasonably sure that as I delivered them, I also delivered an invisible sock thief, for it is only after their birth that single socks have begun to disappear.  Regardless of how few loads of laundry I do, I have always land up with single socks.  I commend my two children who, instead of cringing at my parental sock-neglectfulness, have now become proud wearers of different socks.  Since my return from my retreat, I have found all pairs of matching socks.  The sock thief has perhaps ended his sojourn with us. Amen!

Order in a chaotic home : As I trotted back into my home, I was welcomed to a rather regular sight, that surprisingly did not perturb me. Piled up loads of laundry in every nook that I could see.  Household chores, grocery shopping, dirty car, work-related issues and much more.  I could barely believe myself when I smiled my way through washing and folding, what seemed like 40 loads of laundry.  I hopped over toys like a joyous bunny in the spring time.  A trip to the grocery store on a grey day seemed like a picnic on a bright summer day.  Work-related emails seemed to take quarter of the time that it would before.  And I know that what has distinctly changed is indeed my attitude towards the issues that once used to be irritants.

The idiot box takes the brunt : Since my return from the retreat, the need to engage in my inner world is so powerful that my favourite sitcoms have suffered a major blow.  Some of the characters must feel bereft of an ardent fan.  My family has lost a sitcom companion and the TRP has dropped by one and thus having a domino effect on all the missed opportunities for commercials selling products that were seemingly important to buy and hoard.  I have been robbed of the “knowledge” that I could have gained by watching commercials about those pharmaceutical products that cause distress in the undistressed.

Sedated monkey mind : It has been over a week since I have returned from the trip.  What surprised me was the sense of calmness that prevails since – a true appreciation for life, joy in the littlest of things,  non-judgmental peaceful days, a heartfelt gratitude for all setbacks, a deeper sense of community, a profound sense of compassion, a rather wonderful understanding of the macro and the dissipating importance of the micro. It most definitely seems like the a powerful sedation of the monkey mind. And a passionate desire to continue to do what was once seemingly difficult to do – practicing silence every single day.



PS : Thank you Google images for the image.


Struggles of an incessant thinker

I work with children and I am amazed by their ability to completely be absorbed in that moment that they are in, whether a tantrum or a smile or the act of devouring food. It is indeed a spectacular sight.  It also makes me very envious of them because I work hard at my meditations to re-learn what I knew as a child.

I consider myself a seasoned beginner, (yeah I know – complete oxymoron) as far as meditation is concerned. It means I have been at it for a while now and I make conscious efforts to meditate every day and even if I don’t, I bring about my awareness to the moment several times in the day, often savouring the moment.  However, I am appalled by my mind’s ability to follow a chain of thought and wander off like Hansel and Gretel and often, I do leave myself bread crumbs in order to find my way back to the original thought that led me to go off on a forbidden trail.  However, the struggle remains.  Hence, I came up with my version of solutions. While some of you might find my thoughts downright crazy, I hope some others can find humour in my solutions.  In this day and age, it is all about technology and with absolutely no knowledge of inner workings of any gadget, I present the following ingenius implant gadgets. The size and implant mechanism shall be discussed on a separate blog.

Thought-gps : This device will track every thought and its vibrational frequency.  The in-built warning system will beep in three variable sounds – low, medium and loud, depending on how negative the thought is.  The device will also maintain data that can be used to analyse the patterns of these thoughts.

Thought-anchor : This device can be activated at the time when a positive thought arises.  The device will ensure that this thought stays anchored in the present state for as long as the person chooses to have it anchored.  The timer option gives the person multiple levels of time to keep the thought. The upgraded version, scheduled for phase 2 development, will offer a high memory capacity to store these anchors for future references.

Thought-sensitizer : This works best in conjunction with the Thought-anchor.  Every positive thought that the Thought-anchor catches on to, the Thought-sensitizer will give power to.  A reminder will be sent to the person to start the deep breathing exercises that will power up the sensitizer, adding electro-magnetic field to the thought.

At the moment, the three gadgets are in R&D stage.  Wonder if the banks will fund me and in the meantime the business plan is being written up for it.  Until then, I shall continue to slog with my ever-active brain to calm down the brain waves through sitting still during my meditations.  A friend of mine that heard me talk about these gadgets seemed to have a simpler solution for me, “You need to be put down!”